rewind

I realize tonight as I sit in a strange town on a strange bed that I haven't slept in a place with no one around for a looong time. My two apartment-mates left for the weekend to go home and I'm here, on call, all weekend, by myself. Normally new places, meeting new people, and being alone don't affect me this way. I usually have the ability to buck up and be fine. But I'm sick of meeting new people and sick of never feeling like you measure up. Being a student, I seem to be always under pressure to perform, give the right answer, anticipate the next move. Can I go back to how my life used to be? Where it didn't matter that you didn't know what nerve is always sacrificed in a radical mastectomy. I miss those days.