I'm up late tonight.
Feeling thoughtful perhaps.
Not looking forward to a weekend of work.
Need some spark in my life.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
drug addict
It's a nice sunday evening. I really should be cleaning my house. My roommate has been gone for the last 10 days, getting back tomorrow, I should at least make it presentable. (aren't I nice?) But I feel thoughtful and reminiscent, feel more like writing than cleaning. So, first, before anything else I want to make a list of the things I will do tonight before I go to bed.
1. Dishes
2. Vacuum
3. Finish my laundry (thankfully this one is already in process)
4. Quick touch-up on the shower
5. Shake the rug
6. Sweep out my room
7. Make my bed - just kidding, I would only unmake it shortly thereafter
8. clean the bathroom mirror
9. Sort my stack of mail
10. ...random other cleaning activities...
Now that I feel somewhat productive just by writing this list down, on to more fun topics.
Today I rode horses. I love horses. I rode the most beautiful buckskin mare today with a multicolored mane. The kind of hair that ladies (or guys) would spend a lot of money to have. Blonde, intermixed with some brown and a lot of black, all in layers. I was surprised at the good ride this horse was. She was a bear to catch. We ended up having to herd her with 3 other horses into a round pen, sort out the others, and make her run until she would let us catch her. The story is that she had been trained by a proper trainer for a total of 90 days sometime in the last 8 months or so, but this was hard to imagine with her elusive and skittish behavior. We finally caught her, but she was scared of the saddle! Anyway, my friend rode her yesterday and she did ok, then I rode her today, taking her way out in the pasture and she did great! Stops when told, very patient, calm. She rides a little heavy on the front, but seemed to loosen up toward the end of the ride. All in all, great ride. It was a rejuvenating ride. The thought came into my head to offer to buy this horse. I've been contemplating this all day. But really, there should be some way to offer my services to continue training this horse. Perhaps they would pay me? This sounds like a much better idea. In any case, I need a horse that I can ride whenever I want to. Borrowing other people's horses is just not cutting it for me. It stifles me.
Riding horses gives me what I would consider a fix. Like drugs. I need it, crave it, and it makes me feel so good. If only I could take this drug whenever I pleased...
1. Dishes
2. Vacuum
3. Finish my laundry (thankfully this one is already in process)
4. Quick touch-up on the shower
5. Shake the rug
6. Sweep out my room
7. Make my bed - just kidding, I would only unmake it shortly thereafter
8. clean the bathroom mirror
9. Sort my stack of mail
10. ...random other cleaning activities...
Now that I feel somewhat productive just by writing this list down, on to more fun topics.
Today I rode horses. I love horses. I rode the most beautiful buckskin mare today with a multicolored mane. The kind of hair that ladies (or guys) would spend a lot of money to have. Blonde, intermixed with some brown and a lot of black, all in layers. I was surprised at the good ride this horse was. She was a bear to catch. We ended up having to herd her with 3 other horses into a round pen, sort out the others, and make her run until she would let us catch her. The story is that she had been trained by a proper trainer for a total of 90 days sometime in the last 8 months or so, but this was hard to imagine with her elusive and skittish behavior. We finally caught her, but she was scared of the saddle! Anyway, my friend rode her yesterday and she did ok, then I rode her today, taking her way out in the pasture and she did great! Stops when told, very patient, calm. She rides a little heavy on the front, but seemed to loosen up toward the end of the ride. All in all, great ride. It was a rejuvenating ride. The thought came into my head to offer to buy this horse. I've been contemplating this all day. But really, there should be some way to offer my services to continue training this horse. Perhaps they would pay me? This sounds like a much better idea. In any case, I need a horse that I can ride whenever I want to. Borrowing other people's horses is just not cutting it for me. It stifles me.
Riding horses gives me what I would consider a fix. Like drugs. I need it, crave it, and it makes me feel so good. If only I could take this drug whenever I pleased...
Thursday, April 7, 2011
joy
Such a beautiful night. At 11:11pm it is 68 degrees outside, slight breeze, cool, quiet. I'm in love with life today. Sunshine on my skin, wind in my hair. Its a great day and it's only thursday!
Here are a few other things that I really enjoy about this week
1. Getting off early from work
2. Thai food
3. Friends with jet ski's
4. Meeting new people
5. Catching up with old friends
6. Feeling connected to the friends I have now
7. my new sleep cycle alarm clock app on my phone where I can track how I sleep at night (I love this program!)
8. Feeling rejuvenated in my walk with God
9. The weather
10. Etc...
Am thinking of a few options for weekend plans. I really would like to do them all. Boating and lake activities with Jessi and Tyler, camp with a group of young people who I want to get to know better, visit the lifestyle center (Jill), horse shop and ride. I just don't quite know how to fit them all in. I also want to go to Union's alumni weekend which is happening starting tonight. I technically could if I left directly after work tomorrow, get into Lincoln before midnight on friday night, then leave before noon on Sunday. This is also a viable option. Though, I really should be packed at this moment to save some time...
Here are a few other things that I really enjoy about this week
1. Getting off early from work
2. Thai food
3. Friends with jet ski's
4. Meeting new people
5. Catching up with old friends
6. Feeling connected to the friends I have now
7. my new sleep cycle alarm clock app on my phone where I can track how I sleep at night (I love this program!)
8. Feeling rejuvenated in my walk with God
9. The weather
10. Etc...
Am thinking of a few options for weekend plans. I really would like to do them all. Boating and lake activities with Jessi and Tyler, camp with a group of young people who I want to get to know better, visit the lifestyle center (Jill), horse shop and ride. I just don't quite know how to fit them all in. I also want to go to Union's alumni weekend which is happening starting tonight. I technically could if I left directly after work tomorrow, get into Lincoln before midnight on friday night, then leave before noon on Sunday. This is also a viable option. Though, I really should be packed at this moment to save some time...
Friday, March 11, 2011
MacBook Pro
I bought a new computer.
I probably could have bought a $200 computer and it would have been amazing in comparison to my 15-min-to-start-up computer that I have had for the past 6 years. The one that randomly shuts off, and frequently looses it's internet connection, yeah, that one. I have had a dislike for my now-retired computer for quite a while, but I didn't realize how strong my feelings were until this evening when I opened my new macbook pro and it was on in 2 seconds! Just there, waiting for me to tell it what to do! I became so excited that I couldn't contain myself and had to express all my joys to those surrounding me (who gawked at my excitement). I am thrilled with my new purchase. It types well, has all kinds of fun features, looks good, is fast, and generally makes my heart happy.
What also makes my heart happy is the amazing week that I have had. This week my boss has been out of town. When he is gone I don't work in the hospital and therefore have had full clinic days. This is the kind of clinic that starts at 9 and is done, generally, by 5! No pager, no hospital rounds, no midnight calls, no late nights, no early mornings. It was like a vacation! I could enjoy the evening and I felt like I had so much time. I bought my computer last night, and I had a day off today. I can hardly contain the happiness that my heart feels to sleep all the way through a night with no calls about patients, no pager going off informing me of critical labwork, or Mrs. Smith who is constipated and needs a laxative.
:)
It's Sabbath now, peaceful, rejuvenating, restful. Could I ask for more?
I probably could have bought a $200 computer and it would have been amazing in comparison to my 15-min-to-start-up computer that I have had for the past 6 years. The one that randomly shuts off, and frequently looses it's internet connection, yeah, that one. I have had a dislike for my now-retired computer for quite a while, but I didn't realize how strong my feelings were until this evening when I opened my new macbook pro and it was on in 2 seconds! Just there, waiting for me to tell it what to do! I became so excited that I couldn't contain myself and had to express all my joys to those surrounding me (who gawked at my excitement). I am thrilled with my new purchase. It types well, has all kinds of fun features, looks good, is fast, and generally makes my heart happy.
What also makes my heart happy is the amazing week that I have had. This week my boss has been out of town. When he is gone I don't work in the hospital and therefore have had full clinic days. This is the kind of clinic that starts at 9 and is done, generally, by 5! No pager, no hospital rounds, no midnight calls, no late nights, no early mornings. It was like a vacation! I could enjoy the evening and I felt like I had so much time. I bought my computer last night, and I had a day off today. I can hardly contain the happiness that my heart feels to sleep all the way through a night with no calls about patients, no pager going off informing me of critical labwork, or Mrs. Smith who is constipated and needs a laxative.
:)
It's Sabbath now, peaceful, rejuvenating, restful. Could I ask for more?
Saturday, January 15, 2011
quotes for tonight
If you want to be happy, be.
Leo Tolstoy
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
Ayn Rand
The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.
Voltaire
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Plato
Reality is negotiable.
Tim Ferriss
Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.
Author Unknown
Leo Tolstoy
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
Ayn Rand
The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.
Voltaire
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Plato
Reality is negotiable.
Tim Ferriss
Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.
Author Unknown
Friday, December 17, 2010
Sigh
Sigh of relief. Tomorrow after work I am done until next year.
Tonight I went to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra Christmas program, compliments of my boss! It was fabulous! There is no way I can put it into words, it was that marvelous. In addition to the orchestra, there was a large >100 person choir, and also a children's choir which had the most amazing soprano male voice that i have ever heard. It was truly amazing and so refreshing. Recently I feel like all I have done is work. work work work.
Random comment: ate a whole package of Tofu tonight. You can't let something like that go bad :) And I am leaving tomorrow (er, today I guess). Which reminds me, I still need to pack.
Merry Christmas to all
Tonight I went to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra Christmas program, compliments of my boss! It was fabulous! There is no way I can put it into words, it was that marvelous. In addition to the orchestra, there was a large >100 person choir, and also a children's choir which had the most amazing soprano male voice that i have ever heard. It was truly amazing and so refreshing. Recently I feel like all I have done is work. work work work.
Random comment: ate a whole package of Tofu tonight. You can't let something like that go bad :) And I am leaving tomorrow (er, today I guess). Which reminds me, I still need to pack.
Merry Christmas to all
Monday, October 25, 2010
Ode to Radar
One of my roommates left for a camping trip on thursday.
Thursday night someone stopped by to pick up the two remaining puppies that she was giving away, except one of them was sick. He was hiding in the corner of the yard puking his poor little guts out. Needless to say, he didn't want to take a sick puppy, so he took the healthy one and left. The puppy (Radar) looked so sick and sad. "It's not my dog" I thought to myself, as I went to sleep that night. The next morning I happy to see that the puppy was still alive! He looked a little better as I left for work. Friday afternoon when I got off I came home to re-evaluate him.
He was awful.
I tried to to get him to drink some fluids, he refused. So I got a syringe and mixed up some carnation instant breakfast and fed him about 12cc. Apparently that was a mistake because 5 minutes later he puked it all up and was so exhausted that he just laid right down in it. I washed him off and brought him inside. I listened to his heart and lungs. His poor belly was tender, he was obviously dehydrated, and he had a fever.
What do I do? It's not my dog, it's not my responsibility, but if I don't do anything, no one else would. (Reminds me of my bathtub situation)
What if he dies and I could have helped him? So, I took him to the vet. Here they confirmed fever, found a GI bleed, and diagnosed Parvovirus. :( The vet gave him a shot for abdominal cramping, medication for nausea, antiviral, antibiotics for likely secondary infection, and a nutritional supplement/paste for glucose and electrolytes. I asked for a bag of IV fluids that I could run at home (being a PA), but apparently that is a no-no. He had a 50/50 chance of survival.
When we returned from the vet Radar felt so much better! Belly pain relieved, he drank so much, but 20 minutes later he looked surprised as it all came right back up. After that liquids were rationed to him, but even with nausea medication he continued to throw up. I tried to keep that paste down him. I was giving it every 2 hours to keep his blood sugar up, but he kept throwing it up. He was miserable.
I kept him by my bed in a big tub that night. He was quite restless and would moan a lot. He threw up 4 times and had a spell of awful smelling diarrhea. I didn't sleep much and was reminded of my CNA days. He took a significant turn for the worse around 6am groaning with every breath, abdominal cramping (from what I could tell) and increased lethargy. He was in pain. It was Sabbath morning and I was supposed to lead song service for church, so I stuck Radar in the car, sang, and then promptly took him back over to the vet seeking pain control.
Even if he was actively dying, he didn't have to be in pain. The re-evaluated him and told me they would set an IV and let me have IV fluids for home use, I was a PA after all.
After they got the IV in place, the vet's husband, also a vet, introduced himself and brought me to the back where Radar was. He was receiving fluids and looking comfortable when all of a sudden his legs drew up, he let out a horrible noise, had a seizure and stopped breathing. His heart had also stopped. In no time Radar was intubated and being bagged with pure oxygen. Epinephrine was given and his heart started beating slowly and in a few minutes was once again pounding. He started breathing on his own and was extubated.
It all happened so quickly! I was assisting, thinking ahead of what else we might do to help him. It wasn't until he was comfortable in a little bed with a heating pad, hot water bottle, and IV fluids, when I left to return back to church that I thought to myself "Wait a minute! What am I doing?! This is not even my dog!" I never thought I would be one to take my dog to the vet and rack up hundreds of dollars in bills. We intubated a dog! Gave him life support! CPR! If he survives, what then? Would I save his life just to take him to the pound? It was then I realized that if Radar made it, I would have to keep him. I really had no other choice.
Radar, fortunately and unfortunately, did not make it. He passed away Sat night. Thankfully he is no longer suffering. I cried. I felt ridiculous for crying about a puppy that wasn't mine and that was going to be given away, but I couldn't help it. He was just so helpless. Sigh. Here is a picture of the late Radar. Poor guy.
Thursday night someone stopped by to pick up the two remaining puppies that she was giving away, except one of them was sick. He was hiding in the corner of the yard puking his poor little guts out. Needless to say, he didn't want to take a sick puppy, so he took the healthy one and left. The puppy (Radar) looked so sick and sad. "It's not my dog" I thought to myself, as I went to sleep that night. The next morning I happy to see that the puppy was still alive! He looked a little better as I left for work. Friday afternoon when I got off I came home to re-evaluate him.
He was awful.
I tried to to get him to drink some fluids, he refused. So I got a syringe and mixed up some carnation instant breakfast and fed him about 12cc. Apparently that was a mistake because 5 minutes later he puked it all up and was so exhausted that he just laid right down in it. I washed him off and brought him inside. I listened to his heart and lungs. His poor belly was tender, he was obviously dehydrated, and he had a fever.
What do I do? It's not my dog, it's not my responsibility, but if I don't do anything, no one else would. (Reminds me of my bathtub situation)
What if he dies and I could have helped him? So, I took him to the vet. Here they confirmed fever, found a GI bleed, and diagnosed Parvovirus. :( The vet gave him a shot for abdominal cramping, medication for nausea, antiviral, antibiotics for likely secondary infection, and a nutritional supplement/paste for glucose and electrolytes. I asked for a bag of IV fluids that I could run at home (being a PA), but apparently that is a no-no. He had a 50/50 chance of survival.
When we returned from the vet Radar felt so much better! Belly pain relieved, he drank so much, but 20 minutes later he looked surprised as it all came right back up. After that liquids were rationed to him, but even with nausea medication he continued to throw up. I tried to keep that paste down him. I was giving it every 2 hours to keep his blood sugar up, but he kept throwing it up. He was miserable.
I kept him by my bed in a big tub that night. He was quite restless and would moan a lot. He threw up 4 times and had a spell of awful smelling diarrhea. I didn't sleep much and was reminded of my CNA days. He took a significant turn for the worse around 6am groaning with every breath, abdominal cramping (from what I could tell) and increased lethargy. He was in pain. It was Sabbath morning and I was supposed to lead song service for church, so I stuck Radar in the car, sang, and then promptly took him back over to the vet seeking pain control.
Even if he was actively dying, he didn't have to be in pain. The re-evaluated him and told me they would set an IV and let me have IV fluids for home use, I was a PA after all.
After they got the IV in place, the vet's husband, also a vet, introduced himself and brought me to the back where Radar was. He was receiving fluids and looking comfortable when all of a sudden his legs drew up, he let out a horrible noise, had a seizure and stopped breathing. His heart had also stopped. In no time Radar was intubated and being bagged with pure oxygen. Epinephrine was given and his heart started beating slowly and in a few minutes was once again pounding. He started breathing on his own and was extubated.
It all happened so quickly! I was assisting, thinking ahead of what else we might do to help him. It wasn't until he was comfortable in a little bed with a heating pad, hot water bottle, and IV fluids, when I left to return back to church that I thought to myself "Wait a minute! What am I doing?! This is not even my dog!" I never thought I would be one to take my dog to the vet and rack up hundreds of dollars in bills. We intubated a dog! Gave him life support! CPR! If he survives, what then? Would I save his life just to take him to the pound? It was then I realized that if Radar made it, I would have to keep him. I really had no other choice.
Radar, fortunately and unfortunately, did not make it. He passed away Sat night. Thankfully he is no longer suffering. I cried. I felt ridiculous for crying about a puppy that wasn't mine and that was going to be given away, but I couldn't help it. He was just so helpless. Sigh. Here is a picture of the late Radar. Poor guy.
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