drug addict

It's a nice sunday evening. I really should be cleaning my house. My roommate has been gone for the last 10 days, getting back tomorrow, I should at least make it presentable. (aren't I nice?) But I feel thoughtful and reminiscent, feel more like writing than cleaning. So, first, before anything else I want to make a list of the things I will do tonight before I go to bed.
1. Dishes
2. Vacuum
3. Finish my laundry (thankfully this one is already in process)
4. Quick touch-up on the shower
5. Shake the rug
6. Sweep out my room
7. Make my bed - just kidding, I would only unmake it shortly thereafter
8. clean the bathroom mirror
9. Sort my stack of mail
10. ...random other cleaning activities...

Now that I feel somewhat productive just by writing this list down, on to more fun topics.

Today I rode horses. I love horses. I rode the most beautiful buckskin mare today with a multicolored mane. The kind of hair that ladies (or guys) would spend a lot of money to have. Blonde, intermixed with some brown and a lot of black, all in layers. I was surprised at the good ride this horse was. She was a bear to catch. We ended up having to herd her with 3 other horses into a round pen, sort out the others, and make her run until she would let us catch her. The story is that she had been trained by a proper trainer for a total of 90 days sometime in the last 8 months or so, but this was hard to imagine with her elusive and skittish behavior. We finally caught her, but she was scared of the saddle! Anyway, my friend rode her yesterday and she did ok, then I rode her today, taking her way out in the pasture and she did great! Stops when told, very patient, calm. She rides a little heavy on the front, but seemed to loosen up toward the end of the ride. All in all, great ride. It was a rejuvenating ride. The thought came into my head to offer to buy this horse. I've been contemplating this all day. But really, there should be some way to offer my services to continue training this horse. Perhaps they would pay me? This sounds like a much better idea. In any case, I need a horse that I can ride whenever I want to. Borrowing other people's horses is just not cutting it for me. It stifles me.
Riding horses gives me what I would consider a fix. Like drugs. I need it, crave it, and it makes me feel so good. If only I could take this drug whenever I pleased...

mixed and missing

Despair and joy.
I move next Wednesday. I am Oh so excited to start working. My summer vacation has been too long, yet... this means that I will have to leave a place that I love so much. A place that is filled with people that I love, familiar faces, and comfort. And I'm headed to a place that is filled with unfamiliar faces and fear of the unknown.
Here I come Oklahoma. Watch out.

bittersweet

My time in Guam is quickly coming to a close. It has been a wonderful time here and it seems like my schedule is so full once I'm almost to leave! I have dinner's here, meetings there, work here and there, and some serious snorkeling to do! There's so many other good snorkel spots that I haven't been to.

The docs here are so nice! I learned that one of my preceptors is the Grandpa of my Taco Bell Buddy from college! What a small world, eh?! I've leaned tips about casting, infections, abscesses, diabetes, scarlet fever, and much more to list. I've also learned about the red-footed booby, and traveling on a remote island!

A bittersweet parting it will be. Bitter to leave such a beautiful, tropical paradise, and yet so sweet to come home and have not only friends and family, but also my Greggy-pooh nearby.

Tonight I need to exchange pictures with the nursing students that are here from Andrews. We've had some fun times! I'll have to post some pics...

swearing

I had a patient tell me that he waited 4 days to get in to see us. He would rather wait and go the the SDA clinic because here the doctors do not swear at their nurses or at all. Granted... he probably should have gotten in to see someone sooner - anyone, he had a huge ulcer on his leg. But still, that's nice.

unshaded

Today when I hopped in my car to run home for lunch I actually broke a sweat - doing nothing, mind you, just sitting. No, it's not because I am out of shape (although that could play a factor), it was just so hot in my car! I need to park in the shade.

New Favorite

Greg is so amazing. For Valentine's day he sent me just what I wanted. In fact, he sent me a myriad of appreciated items! One of the many things I love about Greg is his incredible sense of what I would absolutely love. An example of this is when he gave me Dance Dance Revolution for Christmas. I love that game, and I've had so much fun with it!
He sent me booties pictured below (almost exact). They are amazing! They're like sleeping bags for your feet, and they are instantaneously warm. My feet seem to have always been cold, but not any more! As soon as I get home in the evening, they're on my feet. I would totally wear them to work, but I might get blood or something even grosser on them.



Don't get me wrong I love Greg for more than just his gift giving abilities :)

rewind

I realize tonight as I sit in a strange town on a strange bed that I haven't slept in a place with no one around for a looong time. My two apartment-mates left for the weekend to go home and I'm here, on call, all weekend, by myself. Normally new places, meeting new people, and being alone don't affect me this way. I usually have the ability to buck up and be fine. But I'm sick of meeting new people and sick of never feeling like you measure up. Being a student, I seem to be always under pressure to perform, give the right answer, anticipate the next move. Can I go back to how my life used to be? Where it didn't matter that you didn't know what nerve is always sacrificed in a radical mastectomy. I miss those days.

Welcome to Holdrege, NE

I'm supposed to be on an OB/GYN rotation. I was at the office at 8am Monday morning to find that my doc was out all week, except Wednesday. Hm. So I ended up working with the PA and another doc. Learned a lot... about migraines, spinal problems, gastric feeding tubes, and wart removal! Today I saw my first lady patient that was there for lady things. Finally! But alas, it was only one. Tomorrow will be my first real day of OB/GYN! I'm getting nervous all over again!

On another note today I saw a duck. I saw a duck because I went on a walk out by a lake and it was beautiful. This duck had two little ducklings and they were so cute. They sure follow their mom wherever she goes with no hesitation. Funny how human children don't do that.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.